Katie

I just returned from spending the night(evening, whatever) with my old pal Katie (not from Turner). I have known Katie since, forever-ish, at least elementary, and, maybe because of that, maybe in spite of that, we have this really amazing and weird bond. We can not talk to each other for ages, so wrapped up in our own lives, then spontaneously call the other up, go have dinner, and fall right back into place like we never left, or, better yet, enriched by our time away. Seeing Katie, being near her, is like a recharge for some part of my soul that, unfortunately, none of my friends now can really fill. (Not to insult all of you, but, you just can't. Katie and I know each other so well, and have such different and yet eerily parallel lives, that we can talk for hours and make perfect sense, even when we have no real idea of what we are saying. After talking to her, I feel more secure in my own life, even though we may have just brought up more questions.)

We talked about the way guy friends relate to their chica friends, in a way totally different to the way a girl reacts to her girly friend.(Guy tries to fix it, girl lets it happen then comforts). We talked about college, and our anxieties and anticipation. We talked about sex, and how we don't know if what we feel sometimes is what 'we' feel or what we've been told to feel for so long that it has become some sort of automatic response...wondered together how we were supposed to know when we are really in love, when the time is really 'right' (and how we'll know), our guilt associated with sexuality, what 'virginity' really means, and generally our confusion with that part of our lives. We talked about her boyfriend situation, and my non-boyfriend situation.

We talked about all those things, and more, over a good dinner at Bennigan's, a long walk by moonlight, a drive around town, and an episode of 'Sex and the City.'

I feel...so renewed, and yet so curious about everything in my life.

My Cat Puked on the President

My darling neurotic calico (ish) cat puked on GW and his wife. I'm wondering if that is some sort of feline political statement, or just a bad can of catfood.

****
I just got finished having a real bath, with all the fixings. Bubbles, a candle, a good(hopefully) book, everything. Water so hot the parts of you not submersed sweat in the steam and you come out all lobster-red, then rub lotion all over everywhere to keep that beautiful feeling longer.

It made what I had to do to get a bath worthwhile. See, my cat, presumably the neurotic one that puked on the Prez., recently decided my bathroom would make a nice toilet. That, combined with my brother's irritating habit of leaving things on the floor, led to a very bad, smelly situation. At about 6 I decided I wanted a bath, but there was no way I was going to take one with the bathroom in that state: I would get out feeling clean and immediately die of asphyxiation. So I cleaned my disgusting bathroom (I don't know why, but for some reason the rest of my house can be a complete disaster but I'll want my bathroom to be clean).

That was the high point of my day. I was off, thankfully, seeing how I didn't get in from work until 2 a.m. last night. Stupid, stupid work. I slept all day. I actually got up long enough to watch Bridget Jones, tell my mom I'm tired so I don't want to work for her, and go back to sleep for about 3 more hours.

A HIGHLY productive day, if I say so myself.


Oh, hermit crab update. Jamaica (the big crab) has changed shells once again. I think he made a poor choice; it's one of those spiraly shells, so he has this long handle on one side. Convenient for us--we can pick him up without worrying about claws--but bad for him. Can YOU imagine walking around with a big stick on one side of you? Bahama, the itty-bitty one, has just molted. Now he's all pink, like a baby, and won't come out of his shell. VERY exciting, if you ask me.

Free Movie of the Day

Bridget Jones's Diary

I am a sucker for Brits, romance, comedy, and .... Hugh Grant is pretty when he's acting like a jerk.


Which leads me to the following: why do good girls love bad boys? I think it's an inner urge to be that guy--the closest we can get is to be WITH the bad boys, hence letting the badness rub off all over her(us)(whatever).





Why don't I have a bad boy to rub on? Or a good boy, or anyone?


Why haven't I heard from Jason in an eternity?

College

So today I had to dig up some National Merit paperwork so that I could tell them, yes, please give me money. Apparently I missed some silly deadline and they had to ask. Why would I say no? Granted, it is only a very small scholarship, but hey, I need the money. Which is a great transistion into what I got in the mail today--my first college bill. OH MY GOSH. College is damn expensive, even after all the scholarships I've been collecting. Now, it's true that I could have worked a little harder to get the money, but I dont think I realized how insanely expensive this really is going to be. WHY??? WHY?

That and I seem to have lost nearly all my paperwork in the black hole that my room has become.

AND I'm jealous of all you people who are staying in-state and rooming with your friends (aka. everyone I know). I only know 4 things about my roommate: 1)she'll be attending Mizzou, 2) she is a girl, 3) she is a girl named Jasmine, 4)she's from St. Louis.

The Good Thing

The good thing about working at a daycare: free snacks. I got my cookie. Two, actually.

That's how the Cookie Crumbles

I would like a cookie. Preferably a soft, chewy, chocolate chip cookie.

Sleepy Dayz

*YAAAWwn*
I don't want to get up. I would be much happier to be asleep right now. I don't really know why I am even awake. *Yawn*
I think it's because I have two jobs to go to and a brother to pick up. Could I get fired from my mother's place? What about Blockbuster for sleeping instead of closing?

Could i be fired from being a sister? I think I would enjoy that too much.

*Yawn*

And now, an excerpt from teen-angst book number two. (Funny teen-angst book)

"I am cock of the walk. (I don't know what the girl equivalent of 'cock' is...surely it can't be 'vagina.' I am vagina of the walk doesn't have the same ring to it, somehow...)"
- -- Angus, thongs, and Full-frontal Snogging: confessions of Georgia Nicolson, by Louise Rennison

Teengirl drama

Who could imagine Texas would have so much rain? I think I'm actually starting to forget what color the sun is; we only ever see it briefly, between rainstorms, anymore.
Hurray for teengirl melodrama. Watching "Dawson's Creek" (I swear I never did when it was on, now it's on syndication and I watch it all the time; I'm insane) and reading my second teen-girl strife book. (I didn't pick it up for that reason, just did on recommendation). But it's a beat-down. It makes me think about my life the way the people in these stupid dramas do. So, generally a beatdown.
My hermit crab (the bigger one) just changed shells (not very exciting to all of you, I know, but an event in my life). I generally approve of the shell--it's a normal-colored stripey one--definitely an improvement over the gaudy red one someone painted.
On a tangent note, I think humans should be so wise.

Free Movie of the Day

The Adventures of Milo and Otis

You know, that cute story about the orange cat and the pug-nosed dog...everyone knows it, it's a very sweet little movie.

Why don't we have movies like this anymore? It's so sweet, with the live-action little baby animals!

Church

Yea, so I finally made it to church (it's been awhile, since the one day I asked to be off was sunday and so I have always had to work on sunday). My pastor's brother, Stan, was the ligurgist. They made some dumb joke about the Blue's Brothers.
So...I don't know if he was doing it on purpose, but he was reading in a really low, slow voice that made him sound like Eyore. It was awful...and really boring. He was pushing me to somnambulence. It was not fun...I thought I was just going to fall asleep.

Luckily, he had a few really good musical pieces to brighten it up.

Why I need new Friends

This has recently come to my attention. I need new friends because, on the whole, my current collection is:

lazy
indecisive
poor ($$)
boring
nerdy/geeky
male
AND
don't really relate to me

In fact, I don't really know how we became friends in the first place. Life is like that I guess. Oh well, I still like those guys, but I am willing to accept new entries.

Free Movie of the Day

Peter Pan, the newest version!

"Oh the cleverness of me!"

*Chants* "I do believe in faeries, I do, I DO!"


I think I'm in love with Peter Pan!

Daily Life

Well, first I need to thank all you people who answered my question, via commenting here or through AIM. The answer, a resounding "NO WAY," thankfully. The reason I asked was I had this lingering feeling that if this were WWII instead of the Iraqi-freedom crap, the answer would have been "hell yes." I figured it was worth asking about.
And, to answer Mr. Anonymous's comment, he was in GERMANY...which is no where near any Muslims/Terrorists/Action of any kind.
On to other things.
My life has been a little chaotic lately, I apologize to anyone trying to find me. I'm working two part-time jobs, which translates into meaning I work practically full-time except I have really weird hours, and the hours between jobs I'm normally asleep. I didn't plan on working two jobs, but one of my mom's employees had a stroke last week and she therefore desperately needs help and can make me work. At least I get paid. But, she works at a daycare, which means I'm in a classroom with 11 to 17 children ages somewhere between kindergarten and 5th grade. It's fun.

So much fun, in fact, that I didn't even get a lunch break today. Ick.
Then I was at home happily napping when the other 'incident' occurred, as you've already read (hopefully).
But I got called in to work at job #2, Blockbuster, tonight, so I spent a paltry three hours there. Not too bad, but it's work...time I could have spent at home.
Uh! I have to tell you about these two guys. There was this one guy who talked 90 miles a minute and kept asking me about movies, and, because we were overstaffed, I walked around with him to help him find things. He went through 5-6 movie choices in about half an hour, criscrossing the store, walking everywhere, madness! He rented one movie. Then there is this other guy who comes in every day, has two kids and is a foreigner, so he's watching a whole lot of kid movies. Somewhere along the line he decided I was the person to talk to about movies, so every day he comes in he talks to me. Every DAY. Not a huge problem, but he likes to talk. And...he's started hitting me when he talks. I'll say something he'll like, and he'll do one of those, "ha, that's so funny" little shoulder taps. Except he does it A LOT!! And he would be hitting on me, except he's married and I told him I'm 18, making me way too young...thankfully!
So, that's what I do at Blockbuster.

It's hot...the air conditioner in my house broke and so we just have windows open and fans on. But it's still hot. And now it's late!

A Dilemma

I'm stuck. Like it says, I have a huge dilemma. Help me out here guys.
So I'm just taking a nap, minding my own business, when the doorbell rings. Not only does it ring, someone is pounding on the door. I figure it's the postman or something so I let my brother handle it.
He comes into my room. "Me-gan??" "Wha?" "There's this guy at the door, I think for you." "Who? Wha?"
I go to the door, trying to be less sleepy. It's this guy, who shall remain temporarily unnamed, who graduated a year before me and joined the military. Turns out he is home on leave for a week before he has to go back to Germany for another year and a half. He wants to go out with me tonight.
The problem is, when he told me he was leaving the country, I was happy. I sighed this huge happy happy sigh of relief because I am in no way attracted to him and he kinda freaks me out; he's almost a stalker-ish person. So I have NO desire to go out with him anywhere...to be left alone with him for fear of his getting "fresh."
So I tell him I don't know if I have to work or not (which was true) so I can't really do anything tonight. He asks for my phone number, I tell him someone at his house probably has it...(basically, no, no phone number for you, sorry dude).
Here's the dilemma, in short: Do I have a moral/patriotic obligation to do something with this guy as it is his only week in the United States before he has to go back into the service for a year or would that only encourage his creepy stalker behavior and freak me out further...?

Ack for unsuspected issues suddenly knocking on my door.

I Read this and thought....

...of Phil. So, Phil, I rewrite this here for you.

"I was never the type of little girl who hated boys. Never. Well, except for my brother. I was just the oldest of three girls, while he was the Oldest, plus the only boy in an Italian family, and you know what that means: golden penis. My father sat at one end of the table and my brother sat at the other, while my mother sat on the sidelines with us girls. You could say I resented him a little."
-- from Riding In Cars with Boys: Confessions of a Bad Girl who Makes Good, by Beverly Donofrio -- about a Catholic Italian girl who gets pregnant in high school and how she manages

I Have Triumphantly Returned

So, all of you who have been waiting with baited breath, I have returned! I had an awesome, incredible, amazing, memorable time and got to go through three states and one federal district.
It was my grandfather's 80th birthday, and it was a splendid party...I hope I have a party with so many friends and family when I turn 80, like that. I got to see all of my cousins and uncles and aunts, which was greatness.
On our day of freedom we visited the Capitol -- we saw the White House and all that. It seems kinda small. What was really disturbing/upsetting to me was every monument or memorial or famous historical building we visited in D.C. was fully or partially closed for "improvements" -- aka. terror-driven anti-terrorist measures. Gimme a break. Every building we entered, we had to pass through a metal detector. It made me sick.

But that's okay. I didn't get to see Monticello, which I really wanted to, having learned so much about it in Acadec, but we made up for it by visiting Mt.Vernon, which, for all of you uneducated Americans, was George Washington's home. It was stellar, and I am very impressed with our founding father now.


I'll have to write more about that later. Out of time for now.

*Sings* I'm Leaving, on a Jet Plane...

Don't know when I'll be back again...

Well, actually, I'm leaving tomorrow and I'll be back sometime on Tuesday. I think. I'm going to Pennsylvania to attend my grandfather's 80th birthday party. Miss me. I'll be having fun!

I'll tell you all about it when I get back, but I have to go to bed now because we are leaving the house at the ungodly hour of 4 A.M.!!!!!!!

Yea, see you when I return!

Downtown Day

Not feeling especially talkative...so I'll probably be brief. Unless, that is, I get caught up in writing and just go with the flow.

I had to go work for my mom today as one of her employees, who had to have been incredibly overweight, had a stroke yesterday and thus is out of commission for the time being. So I was volunteered to go in. It wasn't that bad.
For those of you that don't know, my mom practically owns a childcare center. I was put in charge of 12 little monsters (1st and 2nd graders) all morning. And no one thought about telling me it was splash day. 12 children with a gazillion waterguns, 5 cans of shaving cream, and three plastic pools of water. A great combination.
I survived, barely wet, lucky me.

My dad was off today, so we (Dad, Ryan, and I) went to Downtown Dallas. We rode the DART train (b/c it's cheap and fun) and went to the Nasher Sculpture Garden. It was pretty sweet. I highly recommend it. I think walking downtown Dallas and seeing things like the Nash and West End would make a really awesome date. Anyway. We looked at art (I'll probably post some pictures later) and went to see Asian art at another museum across the street. Then it was off to Chipootle in the West End. Which reminds me, we haven't had much Chip-a-top-le lately -- what happened to that?

And now I'm back at home.

Oh the Thinks that I think

So I have all these random thoughts swirling around in my head that I would tell people if I ever really had an occasion to mention them, but since those occasions would tend to be extremely rare I'll just purge them here for everyone else to ponder...or not.
***
Are white guys just not allowed to have those great deep voices like James Earl Jones and Laurence Fishburne, voices that feel like silk and distant thunder?
***
An excerpt from my most recent book, Woman Hollering Creek by Sandra Cisneros, before I forget:
Amar es Vivir. What it comes down to for that woman at Centeno's and for me. It was enough to keep us tuning in every day at six-thirty, another episode, another thrill. To relive that living when the universe ran through the blood like river water. Alive....Hell,no. This wasn't what we were put on the planet for. Not ever.
Not Lola Beltran sobbing "Soy infeliz" into her for cervezas. But Daniela Roma singing "Ya no. Es verdad que te adoro, pero mas me adoro yo." I love you, honey, but I love me more.
One way or another. Even if it's only the lyrics to a stupid pop hit. We're going to right the world and live. I mean live our lives the way lives were meant to be lived. With throat and wrists. With rage and desire, and joy and grief, and love till it hurts, maybe. But goddamn, girl. Live.
***
Kudos to anyone who can understand what Sandra and I are saying there.
***
Spanish words that they wouldn't have taught me in high school that I learned from that book: nalgas, chichis. Urracas. Figure out what they mean.
***
I wish I could have angel wings like Claire Danes.
***
Don't worry, this is not the end of my thoughts, just the end of my time to purge them.

I am working on that commenting thing

Can we comment now?

Post the first

I'm caving in and joining the blogging world. I won't tell you I'm confident about this; I think I might scare a few people, especially me, because I'm guessing I'm going to have a complete lack of control in regard to what I will and will not say. That and it will probably be revealed just how much of an emotional, moody, insecure who-knows-what.

I apologize now for all future surprises. Let this be your warning.

Get ready, here I go.
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I am a complete sap. Yes, I am 100% the romantic sap. More on that later.
I started out this morning feeling amazing: I was excited because I was sure I was going to have a 'BEAUTIFUL' day, a day where I feel great within my skin, like I could march out into the world and put it in my fantastic pocket because I am so great. I was bohemian and beautiful and perfect just the way I was. I was going to let my hair down (literally, actually) and storm into the world.

That didn't last long.

So I pick up my brother from summer school, and we are actually having a non-fighting-sibling day, which is rare. I begin to play the loving, listening sister. I wasn't doing too bad with it, either. Anyway, I took him to the library to this LOTR painting class that he was trying to insist he didn't want to go to, but he really did. I made an Ent. It's easy and freeform, but mine is exceptionally lovely, if I do say so myself.

Back at home, (or the batcave, as I dont ever call it) I popped in one of my free rentals. A mistake -- I shouldn't let myself watch romantic comedies (it was "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and it was good) when I am not in a happy place with my dating life. So much for the 'Beautiful' phase. In came the quiet, comtemplative phase, which I still haven't quite left. Unfortunately for me, the contemplative phase, when induced by a romantic comedy, also skirts the edge of 'Pit of Self-Pity', which is a bad place to go. I almost dipped over the edge with one of my other movies, the DiCaprio R&J. Fortunately, I was interrupted before they fell in love and I had to stop the movie, leaving me to watch the end of "Bridget Jones's Diary" and two episodes of "Who's Line is it anyway?"


...Okay people, now it's your turn to work some magic. I need to get some sort of response on this, or I'm gonna drop this sucker like a hot potato. Comment away, por favor.