Adam just gave me an old, half-eaten bar of Godiva chocolate with almonds with a card he gave me earlier in the semester on top of it.


Uh, thanks?

OMG We're Dorks!

Becky and I are now FAMOUSLY dorky -- we have made the Alias fan DVD with about 4-seconds of our wonderful "Alias dance."

We are totally amazing!



This is going to come back to haunt me one day, but until then, I'm going to enjoy it. You should, too.

Wedded Bliss

I was just asked (and accepted) to be a groomsman (Or is it groomswoman?) for my friends' wedding in August.

But I'm not invited to his bachelor party...darnit.


But I'm gonna be in a wedding!

Turkey vacation, day 3

So I'm here, at my uncles' house with my grandparents (note: no uncle or uncle's family), "enjoying" my Thanksgiving break. It isn't bad, it mostly just isn't anything, so far. Yesterday's big event was going to Costco (let's do it together now: ooOOooh!)

You know you've fallen pretty far when you catch yourself saying (to yourself) "you know, that Jak character, the hero from Jak II for PS2, is pretty cute. I'd do." Then you slam your palm into your face in shame. Terrible shame.

Anyway, today was slightly more interesting. I made a delicious cake, which took quite awhile, and lost tons of points on presentation but scored bigtime on taste. Looks like I won't be winning Iron Chef anytime soon.

Then I had an awful "Rain Man" moment when I knocked over the container of 1500 toothpicks all over the floor and in the dogs' water bowl. Aren't I awesome?

Then my grandparents took me to see "Happy Feet," which was just about the most adorable movie I could imagine. I loved it. The story was cute, though the ending came up all of a sudden (okay, everything's fixed now; the end) but the animation blew my mind! The penguins really looked like real animals, and they also danced like nothing else! Incredible! And the main character, Mumble, voiced by Elijah Wood, even looked a little bit like him. Which was strange, because he was a penguin (although I have to admit, there was one point in the movie where Mumble was leading some other, smaller penguins on this quest, and I was seriously thinking "Wow, the Penguins are also questing for the One Ring! They even have good ole' Elijah as their guide! Neat!)
It was a fantastic movie and I highly recommend it to everyone (but only after they've seen "March of the Penguins").

Then we came home and...my grandmother and I watched another movie! Hm... We watched "Must Love Dogs", which was good, except when they were talking about sex and condoms and I felt really uncomfortable because I wasn't sure I was allowed to laugh at the jokes and etc. (I mean she's my grandmother! Weird!)


Anyway, my biggest goal while I'm here is to take a bath every single night (so far, so good). I love baths. I think it might be my meditation time. I think the bathroom (but only ones with bathtubs) might be my special place, you know, the place that the rest of the world just stops mattering? -- The place that I could see myself spending a lot of money on and not minding a bit. I want a claw-footed tub....it would just be marvelous! Baths feel so wonderful, and I feel so ...creative. But of course, I would never ruin that by writing while in the bath. Because then I wouldn't feel creative. But, oh, I do so enjoy it. So much less mundane than showers...blah.

So I'm here, hanging out with my grandparents, and I'm torn. On the one hand, I can say "Look how much I belong! Isn't that just great!?!" I mean, I like the same kind of movies as my grandmother, my grandfather likes walking the dogs and looking at interesting birds, my uncle has a similar sense of humor, and my aunt is fun. And look at how skinny I look in comparison to them!

But then I think again, and just feel sad, because I realize all of those things are sorta because I have the same genes as they do, which means I have really big odds of ending up looking like them, which is less than thrilling, particularly when you factor in the diabetes. And the general old-people complaints. And that's a time that I wish I could change families.

Ah well, Here's to hoping my renewed creativity lasts after my parents get here!

RIP

Rest in Peace, dear GirlCat--

Christmas 1988 - Nov. 17, 2006

You were my good friend for so many years, through so many challenges and joys. You were always MY cat; you gave me so much happiness for so long.

I'm just glad you lived so long and could die in peace surrounded by most of your family.

I love you.


...and now all I can think is how useless and stupid all my pictures in iPhoto are if I don't have even one picture of my sweet girl.

Big Ballin'

An actual conversation between Becky and I after class, regarding our heavy workload right before the break...

M: I've just got a lot of balls in the air right now, you know?

B: I have lots of balls--

M: (interrupting) Yea, you have...many more balls...your balls are WAY bigger than mine.

B: Yea, I've just got so much...


M: You have big balls, I mean, you have big, Pendulous balls!

B: (laughing) You know the kind of balls I have? I have one of those physics experiments where they are all lined up in a row and *gesturing* boink-boink boink.

M: You're right; you're balls are much worse than my balls.

Just another wave in the pond

Well, since Adam let his cat out of the proverbial bag, I guess now I have more of a reason to respond to it publicly. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read his blog post)
I have no answer to the question of what I'll be doing in 10 years. I have no idea what I'll be doing or where I'll be living in 5 or even 2 years. Everything is uncertainty for me now, which, although it makes me incredibly nervous, is just part of the journalism biz. I know that I hope to be living comfortably in an apartment in a reasonably-sized city, working on a features/news page for a moderately sized newspaper; I hope to feel part of the community and be happy and have friends.
But nothing is certain for me now. I don't have a clue what I would do if I couldn't be a reporter for whatever reason, especially what I would do if, as some pessimists say, the news industry hits the tank (which I don't believe for an instant, but I'll play along).
But one thing I was really fine with having an open-door policy on was my relationship with Adam. I don't know if I want to get married in the next 10 years, but I know I can see it as a possibility with him (I absolutely know it isn't an option now...not by a long shot). But I do feel it is a distinct possibility.
Or did. Until he told me he was seriously considering joining the military. When he said that, it was like the door on my open-ended, we'll-just-see-where-this-goes relationship slammed shut. If he leaves, I have to make a definite, important choice. I will have to choose if I want to be a military wife or girlfriend, waiting anxiously alone day in and out for months at a time, worrying about his safety, living largely as if I were single, and writing him frequent letters, my heart tied up in the words. And if I decided I couldn't handle that kind of life, I'd have to cut him loose; I'd still wonder how he was doing, and be concerned for his welfare, but I wouldn't tie him down to me, and I wouldn't be overcome with paranoia that he didn't love me anymore or was seeing some other woman, or that I'll end up on the wall of shame...or that he was hurt. Or...that I would wait for him for up to 6 years while he served, and he would come back a man I didn't know... But that would also make me feel guilty, horribly guilty, and selfish, for letting him go off into a terribly lonesome situation where he'll want someone to come home to, and I'll be letting him down.
I realize a lot can happen between now and then; heck, this lets-just-see-how-it-goes relationship might end before that time comes for some other, unrelated reason, or he might start writing a revolutionary book and decide against the military, or... or maybe something else. And I know it isn't fair, but his serious consideration of the military feels like one more forced, hard decision I'll have to make. And, while I deeply love him and support him and even understand his motivations, the fact that he might make that kind of choice (forcing me to chose as well) makes me awfully nervous and sad.