Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I hate everything.

And if you took the time to wonder if that meant you, too, then yea, it does.

I hate that I have a midterm tomorrow that I didnt' start studying for until 2 hours ago and that I'm only halfway through the review for. I hate that I have an 8 a.m. class tomorrow (even though I enjoy the class, I hate the time).

Most of all I hate the Mo.'ian and my editor and the way they combine to make me feel like utter crap and make me reconsider my career choices. I loved journalism until I got to this point. And it's not like I haven't done reporting before...I have. In that obscure thing called "the real world" (no, stupid, not the sucky TV show).

But now I'm in this "class" (aka student slavery) and I feel like crap 97.6% of the time. Or I have no idea what is going on because no one tells me anything and my editor 'forgets' to publish my pieces, or edit them, or whatever.

I never hated reporting before this. And I never thought I sucked at writing before this. I don't know what to do or even what the problem really is. I just hate everything.

And I hate the stress that comes from being a full-time student and a 'full-time' reporter and a girlfriend and a daughter and a friend and a human being (not always in that order) and not ever knowing how to juggle what and feeling like I'm stumbling no matter what I do.

So again, I just hate everything.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Grr homework

Poetry is dragging me down.

Too much Yeats, too much Joyce, too much Irish on my tongue.

My hand is cramped, my mind is numb.

Midterm time has finally come.