Speak softly and have a big shtick

Okay team, I need ideas. Here's the story:
My mom, who manages a daycare, hired a "chicken man" to come do a 1-hour show for her kids. The guy wore a chicken hat and brought a "wonderdog" that did easy tricks for 10-minutes and sang silly songs with a guitar. The guy walked away with $350 in fees for that. Seriously. That's all he did.

So I figure I've found my calling. I can be a kid entertainer, no problem. I know plenty of songs, don't mind dancing funny, I totally think I could do it. All I need is shtick. This "chicken man," his shtick was ...you guessed it, chicken. He wore a chicken hat, shorts with "chicken" on it and played a guitar that looked like a chicken.

Your mission: Help me find some shtick so I can earn $350 for an hours work. Person with a winning idea can be my wonderdog.