Avoidance, finals, Winter, chocoate, and Rape

So...I'm avoiding reading John Mill's "Utilitarianism" for Philosophy, even though I really really really need to because my last class is tomorrow and then I have my final next Friday. But I just can't get excited about it. I mean, how important can he be if we are only spending one week on him?

I made a pile of "sellback" books, which means most of them. I'll be keeping Frederick Douglass and my myth textbook, because freddy was good, enlightening, and my myth book is really interesting and that is one of my favorite subjects. May I make lots and lots of cash off of the others!

I'm pre-finals week now. I actually have my first final on Friday, but it's just psychology, sooo not too worried about that. Then monday is History, Tuesday is Myth,and philospophy and microeconomics are on Friday...I'll be leaving sometime Friday night, because I have to, and I'll probably stay with Angie until Saturday night, then take the eternal night train back to Dallas and get there Sunday morning. Yikes again!

Um. lessee. Tonight was the "Winter Celebration" at the dining halls, so they had a nice feast planned out for us, and it was rather delightful, even though the apple pie was freezing cold. I had Chicken Cordonbleu (sp?), potato bits, "winter vegetables (which turned out to be broccoli and cauliflower)," and French Onion soup. Yum. I tried the eggnog, it was gross. And I had cheesecake for dessert, because the apple pie was cold and icky. I've decided I really like French Onion soup, but it is now ruined for me because of Panera...their French Onion soup in a sourdough bread-bowl is sooo amazing, I don't know if I can ever happily eat French Onion soup again.

Uh...still wasting time here. Eric bought me a "just because" present. It was really sweet, a card, a chocolate rose, and a golden box of chocolates (goodness, does he know me well). I'm afraid I didn't react well to it, however. I just felt like I didn't deserve it and tried to give it back, kinda (half-heartedly). I just didn't think I deserved a nice thing like that, since I feel like I've been mean to him...but I shouldn't have said those things to him. That's not nice at all. Bad Megan.

So I read this really interesting/captivating article yesterday in one of Stephanie's many magazines. It was about the writer's rape when she was 25, ten years before. It was called "Betrayed by the Angel," where the "Angel" is based off something from Virginia Woolf who basically represents the voice in a woman's head telling her to be passive and calm and quiet and demure. And the writer was circumstantially blaming the "Angel" within her for letting her be raped, because she hadn't really fought her attacker, who just knocked at her front door and forced his way in, taped her arms behind her back, and raped her in her bedroom.

It scared me. Mostly because I know I have the same "Angel" living in me, perhaps to a different degree...

All right, all right, already. I'll stop babbling and wasting time. Fine. I'll read my Mr. Mill.