How embarrassing...

I may never be able to show my face again in my Ancient Novel class. Seriously. They now all think I'm really "hardcore" into porn and the like. Great. Just the impression I'm trying to make in my college classes.

We were reading this story, "Daphnis and Chloe," from ancient Greece. It's about this young couple that are very much in love *insert many references to Eros and the like here* blah blah blah, but they don't know how to have sex. (Go with me here). The basic point of the story is to ask "how do we (humans) learn about sexuality, if we are totally innocent and no one tells us anything? How do we figure it all out?" So the first three chapters are a slow, cautious growth in their love and sexuality, as they learn to kiss and embrace and "lay down naked together." But they are a little dense, and take the advice to "lay down naked together" literally, so they just lay on the cold ground naked...and think that is the greatest satisfaction they can get. Then this older woman (it says she was "imported from the town" ha! Imagine Paris Hilton in this role) comes along and has the hots for Daphnis (the boy) and takes him aside and, in the guise of 'educating' him, has a romp with him in the woods.

Then the fourth and final book comes along, and the whole book is all about discovering Daphnis and Chloe's mysterious past and how they are actually the children of rich landowners and not just slaves and goatherds/shepherdesses. Hurray! They can get married and all live happily ever after! The last sentence is the only part of that whole chapter that deals with sex at all and all it says is "they slept less than the owls that night." That's it. No details at all, after all that buildup. All we get is "yup, they did it."

So in our class discussion today a guy named Jim said "well, I felt that the fourth chapter was kindof a letdown. I mean, we talk about them almost having sex for three books and in the fourth it's just ...there it is." My teacher acted astonished at this, but I really agree with Jim, so I pipe up, "yea, I agree. The author doesn't resolve all the reasons they hadn't yet figured it out and suddenly completely abandons that theme for this 'yippee we're rich' thing."

Apparently I shouldn't have said anything. These statements were received with general laughter and hilarity all around, and everyone who spoke after us tried to avoid agreeing with us. My prof., in jest, said "yea, you don't want to be grouped in with those pornographers over there." She also variously made comments like "geez, you guys are hardcore," "so you wanted some ancient Greek erotica?" and "what, did you want more details in the sex? I think we are supposed to assume the reader just knows what having sex is like."

It was really embarrassing. I still stand by my opinion, but now the whole class and the professor thinks ole' Jim and I are sex-fiends. I was really enjoying that class, too.